Funny Friday

What Happened to Peaceful, Bleeding Heart Sweden?

Progressives please excuse those of us questioning your gushing praise for Sweden's socio-economic-political structure. Recent rioting goes to show that monetary and ethnic differences exist everywhere, and even a country offering attractive entitlements is eventually going to create an "I want more!" beast. Brings to mind a popular commercial, "How do you like me now!"

The Obama Bedroom Last Night

"Michelle, they are picking on me again," says Lil Barack with a pout on his face.

"What happened now, sweetie," she replies.

"I forgot to salute the soldier before getting on the big helicopter."

"He's not a soldier, Barack, I have told you this before. He is a Marine..."

"So!"

"Well, all the services have their antiquated little rituals and saluting is one, but the Marines take it particularly seriously and personal."

"Oh, why?"

"It's a sign of respect, dear. Like when you forgot to salute that Medal of Honor recipient a few years ago. Even a five star general salutes a private who has won that award."

"I want one of those mom....I mean Michelle."

"Only servicemen and women who go above and beyond the call of duty can get one."

"Well I have to deal with the Republicans. That don't count?"

"Nope."

"I have to listen to Uncle Joe's stupid...."

"That doesn't count either."

"Now the press and the public think I'm an egotistical jerk...all because of a forgotten salute."

"Barrack, they already thought that about you. But you don't have to keep reminding them."

 

Bull Shittin' with Joe

Barack Obama and Joe Biden are relaxing' in the Oval Office drinking brandy.

"You catch my speech, Joe?" said Barack with a broad self-satisfied smile.

"Just pieces of it on CNN. Ummm, just playing devil's advocate here, boss. You think it was wise to claim there have been no terrorist attacks since 9/11?" asked Biden.

"Watcha talkin' 'bout Joe?" says Barack in his best Gary Coleman voice.

"Well there was the Boston thing a few weeks ago."

"Hell, Joe, that wasn't big. Only a few people died."

"Well, yeah but one was a kid and hundreds were wounded."

"No matter. Wasn't as big as 9/11. And that was Bush's fault!"

"What about Benghazi?"

"Out of country and in a war zone."

"Fair enough. But there was that Texas thing."

"Fort Hood? You know as well as I that we labeled that 'workplace violence'."

"But that psycho killed 13 and wounded almost 40 more in the name of Islam."

"Whose side you on Joe!"

"Sorry boss. Your side of course. Ummm...you're still supporting me in 2016 right?"

 

The Holder Rap

There once was a guy named Holder.

Over time he grew bolder and bolder.

As a Freshman at Columbia he and his crew needed a place to chill,

So they thought the NROTC building would fit the bill.

Entering, occupying, breaking the law didn't matter

Because they renamed it the Malcolm X Lounge

Which ended all the chatter.

With a prestigious law degree in hand

And a head full of social change dreams,

He went out into the land and prospered

The world a cup of coffee ontop of which he was the cream.

Obama pegged him in 2008 to be the General of all Attorneys

A role he pursued with gusto and undying loyalty to the Obama faith.

Whether running guns to drug cartels or justifying drone strikes

He took many political bullets to shield the Prez and divert the hate.

Where did the man go who started his career working for Public Integrity?

Now he is stretching, violating, playing with the truth and what of the public of integrity?

It seems to be an afterthought.

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