Funny Fridays

(On the telephone) "Max, it's Jim."

"Ummm...Jim who?"

"Carrey you dumb ass!"

"Jim, my man. How's it going?"

"What do you mean, 'How's it going?' It sucks. When you gonna get off your ass and get me a gig?"

"It's tough out there right now, Jimbo."

"What about that sequel to The Cable Guy you keep yammering on about?"

"Can't do it. Studios aren't interested in you, I mean a sequel. Larry the Cable Guy kind of took the wind out of those sails."

"F___ing southern, white trash hick!"

"He's hella funny though, I saw him in Vegas..."

"Shut up Max. I pay you a crap load of money. I need exposure. My fans demand it."

"There might be a supporting role in the next Adam Sandler flick?"

"F that with a capital F! He's a no talent hack. And I think he's one of those conservative assholes. That's it!"

"That's what?"

"Politics. I need to get political."

"What's big right now?"

"We'll, the economy..."

"Too confusing."

"Global warming?"

"F___ing Al Gore has that gig locked. And every Hollywood chump is on board."

"Gun control..."

"That's it! You are a genius Max."

"It's kinda controversial. Every other Hollywood release has assault rifles in it."

"Even better...I don't do those films. I'll have the moral high ground. I will be the protector of the children."

"But Jim, don't you have an armed bodyguard? Might come across as hypocritical."

"The people aren't smart enough to figure that out. I'll use YouTube and make a short vid. I could dress up like Howdy Doody and make fun of Heston."

"Heston is an icon though. He marched with MLK."

"I don't give a shit. My audience won't even know who he is."

"We'll, I'm advising you against it."

"To make it edgy I'll cuss a lot..."

"Sorry Jim, I got Bruce Willis on the other line. He's hotter than a habanero right now, bye. And good luck."

"I'll add in some provocative tweets, and..."

 

 

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