Funny Fridays, Part Two

DEAR GAY PEOPLE

 

(Recently a poem called "Dear Straight People" by Denice Frohman has been making the rounds on YouTube, Facebook, etc. Here's my response.)

Dear Gay People, I am straight and I do keep it in a closet. I see no need to run around advertising the fact or rubbing it in everyone's face.

 

Dear Gay People, I am not homophobic, know a few gay people, get along well enough with gays, so GET OVER IT!

 

Dear Gay People, I will fight for your right to equal pay, protection under the law, free exercise of your delineated rights; but quit yelling at me just because I believe in a traditional view of marriage.

 

Dear Gay People, just because I support a traditional view of marriage does not mean: one, I oppose civil unions; two, I am some Neanderthal bastard bent on your destruction; three, the reincarnation of Adolph Hitler.

 

Dear Gay People, if you want some respect, then end those x-rated "Gay Pride" parades or at least put up warning signs so I can hide my children.

 

Dear Gay People, if you want acceptance then quit fondling each other in public like two teenagers behind the school gym.

 

Dear Gay People, my last two comments would apply to heterosexuals too, so don't think you are being singled out or discriminated against.

 

Dear Gay People, if you are offended by my words--I don't care. I was offended by "Dear Straight People."

 

Dear Gay People, the reason I wrote this is simply to point out that no one wants to be labeled or generalized about. While I believe in what I wrote, I also know that a majority of the gay community isn't flaunting their sexuality and are hard working Americans.

 

Dear Gay People, please do not assume you know what every straight person thinks. I surely do not assume to know what all of you think.

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